Since the day started, most of the questions that had been occupying the mind of Hugh Morris had been answered. Only one remained: Why am I able to pee standing up?

That was when the house started shaking. It lasted for about two minutes then stopped. Then, there was a high pitched voice.

"Hugh, I am Gosh. Bow down."

Hugh gasped. "Gosh."

"No you're not. I've seen Gosh and you look nothing like him."

"Wait a minute. I thought you were Gosh?"

"Yes I am. Who are you?"

"I thought you were supposed to be all-knowing?"

"Oh, right. Anyway, I am here to save you Hugh."

"Are you sure you have the right Hugh?"

"Of course I do Mr. Norris."

"Here we go again. I am Ms. Morris. Do I even look like a man?"

"No, but in fact you are. Well, at least in part you are."

"What do you mean 'at least in part'?"

"You may have been wondering why you are able to pee standing up, am I correct?" Hugh nodded. "Would you like to know why?"

Hugh nodded again. "Well, I dunno."

"What?" yelled Hugh.

"Just kidding," said Gosh. "You are what scholars call a hermaphrodite."

"Gesundheit."

"Thank you. Anyway, do you have anything you would like to ask me Hugh?"

"Um, what is a hermaphrodite?"

"Well, a hermaphrodite, or hermie as I like to call them, is a special type of person. Would you like to know more Hugh?"

"Yes, please."

"I have no clue."

"Stop playing Gosh!"

"Okay, okay. Hermies have both male and female genitalia Hugh. That is what you have. And that is why you are able to pee standing up. You have an organ which only men should have. But you are...unique in a strange and twisted way."

"I see," said Hugh. She then proceeded to whip it out.

"Aaauuuuggghhh!!!!" screamed Gosh. "Put it away! I don't want to see it!"

"Okay, okay." Hugh put it away. "So what were you saying about being here to save me?"

"Hmm? Oh, right. You must leave your home. People are trying to kill you."

"People are trying to kill me every week. Are you trying to make a point?"

"Well, yes. This time they will succeed. You must come with me. I can give you whatever you want."

"Can you make it so that I can pee sitting down?"

"But I like you like this."

"Are you being serious?"

"Yes. To tell you the truth, I'm really a transvestite." That being said, Gosh appeared. To say he didn't look like a drag queen would be an understatement.

"Hmmm, kinky," thought Hugh.

"So what will you do Hugh?"

"I guess I could go with you. Yeah, why not? Maybe it will be fun."

"All right!" exclaimed Gosh. He snapped his fingers and they were both enveloped in a bright white light.

After they disappeared, fiery balls of death smashed into the Diet Cola. The attack was lead by none other than the Burger King. He had rallied the merchants of the Assorted Chips to help destroy the Diet Cola.

Apparently, as someone had heard, a pig the king had just acquired was not 'pleasing' him, so he wanted to take his frustrations out on the pig-fucker.

It didn't take very long for the farm to fall since it wasn't put together very well. Satisfied, everyone left behind the mindless destruction and had dinner at the Burger Castle.

After they left, a bright light appeared and three people were standing on the rubble.

"Good job Jeebus," said Gosh.

"Jeebus?" Hugh said surprised.

"That's my name, please don't wear it out."

"Jeebus saved you Hugh," said Gosh.

"How did he do that? He was looking for someone named Hugh Norris."

"Well, after he found you, Jeebus returned to the Hidden Valley and told me."

"And he sent you?"

"Of course not! He doesn't have that kind of power," exclaimed Gosh.

"Did he?" asked Hugh once again.

Gosh looked down. "Yes."

Jeebus looked at the rubble. "Oh, this will be easy to fix," he said. With that, Jeebus farted. There was a loud explosion and the farm was restored.

"Cool," said Hugh. Then, she heard a squeal. "Crispy! You came back!"

"Ah, what a nice day," said Gosh. "Hugh found all her answers and she will probably go back to...yep, there she goes."

Gosh and Jeebus watched as Hugh fucked her pig into the night. "Hmmm, kinky," they both thought.